Saturday, June 16, 2012
With fear and trepidation, I come. Reminders of pain in the past nearly stop my breath. What if You ask for it all? Can I be content to fix my gaze on You no matter what is demanded of me? Remind me, Oh Lord, that You are not out to kill me. The enemy has that job. You long to give me life. Take my dreams and sift through them. Let only the ones from You remain. Cast the others far from my mind that I may be wholly Yours.
I penned these words during one of my times with the Lord. Jesus was lovingly inquiring if I trusted Him. My first response was like Peter's. "Of course, I do." Immediately, my husband's face flashed through my mind and then the images of my children. "Do you trust me with these?" My response was slower, for you see, I come from a line of early widows. I have also felt the pain of losing a child. With a sigh, I answer "yes", but I immediately want a plea bargain.
Again, I am asked. This time I reflected on my years lived. Not once could I think of a time where Jesus abandoned me. Yes, there have been deep valleys, but He was there. He has danced with me in moments of joy. He has cried with me , held my hand and carried me. He has protected me and loved me. He has been there through it all. So, with open arms lifted up I relinquished my earthly treasures and wrote out the above prayer. It is a lifelong prayer.
"Choose for yourself this day whom you shall serve. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord."